Keep - Jenny Haysom

This is a quick read about decisions we'll all make - what do we do with all our stuff when we age?  The author gently reminds us we're all getting and getting rid of things our entire lives.  She tells a lighthearted tale of a "downsizer" Eleanor, who works for a realtor who is trying to sell an older woman's home.  Eleanor partners with Jacob, a 20 something young man, an artistic fellow, who helps stage the home.  The three of them help each other part with their things and the people in their lives.  A good debut novel with some food for thought.

Quotes:

[Harriett]  "Plenty of people, young and old, had difficulty parting with their homes and belongings.  But it seems to her that the elderly were particularly afflicted, in-part because they resisted change and couldn't bear losing or replacing that which was familiar and comforting.  It was as if their habits were set during a certain period, in youth and young adulthood, and as they aged it was more difficult to reset them.  Perhaps it was also true that a certain period of time defined the habits of a generation."

[Harriett] "If this last chapter of her life had a theme, it would be erasure, the whiting-out of previous chapters. ..Sometimes while talking, she'd suddenly fall quiet, as if someone had pressed a mute button mid-sentence or painted her tongue with Liquid Paper."

[Harriett] "Strange, as she'd always known unconsciousness to be black, but this was wrong because she was certain that if she closed her eyes for good, the end should be a blank page." 

[Jacob] "He'd gone from preserving things, to using them up, burning through them with gusto and joy, because for the first time in his life, he wasn't hoping for a better future; he was living it." 

Published: 2024  Read: January Genre: Fiction

A Place for Us - Fatima Farheen Mirza

Rarely do I come across a book that alters my thinking and opens my eyes to a new world.  This is a story of immigrant parents coming to terms with the adults their children have become.  On one hand it is the familiar tale of how first generation children clash with the expectations of their immigrant parents.  But those tales have been told using experiences and family relations familiar to someone from American culture.  In this story, I was immersed in the life of a Muslim family.  The author teaches us the day to day lives of this family: what they eat, how they greet one another, what they wear, what they believe.  Not by telling us but by showing the intimate details of their daily lives as they have their children, take them to school, teach them about their faith and, like all parents everywhere, adjust to the adults they become.  I came away feeling like I had lived in their world and had my eyes opened and my preconceived ideas eliminated.

In addition to the story, the writing is lyrical.  It's the first time I've enjoyed a story where the author goes back and forth between characters.  The story is told from each person's viewpoint but in a subtle way that moves the story forward while still going back and forth in time, sharing different perspectives of each character.  More importantly, we see a family, loving one another, clashing with each other and coming together.   Definitely in my top five for 2024.

Published: 2018  Read: October 2024  Genre: Fiction

Anxious People - Fredrik Backman

I'd watched the movie of this author's first book, A Man Called Ove and remember enjoying it, even with sub-titles.  This second novel was recommended by one of my book clubs.  

I was intrigued, laughing out loud, and crying while reading this book.  A cast of quirky characters embroiled in a hostage situation created by a bumbling bank robber are interviewed by the police that rescue them and the story unravels from their shared experience.  And, it is like unraveling, loose, seemingly unrelated threads come together marvelously.  Backman is a master storyteller.  His characters are real genuine people.  This one is my favorite for 2022.  I imagined it as a play, which would be delicious!

Quotes:

"And that's the weirdest thing about being someone's parent...that you are loved in spite of everything that your are...Perhaps there's a biological reason for that, that up to a certain age a child loves you unconditionally and hopelessly for one single reason: you're theirs.  Which is a pretty smart move on biology's part, you have to give it that."

"Do you know how many men like you every single woman on the planet meets every day, who think that every thought that pops into your tiny little male brains is a lovely present you can give us?"

"We weren't allowed to argue just for the sake of winning.  Because sooner or later, that would end  up with one of us winning.  And no marriage can survive that.  Did it work??' Julia asked. 'I don't know," Estelle admitted. 'We never got past the first flush of infatuation."

"[My Dad] He says you end up marrying the one you don't understand.  Then you spend the rest of your life trying."

"...your children aren't your children, they're the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself." [Kahlil Gibran]

Published: 2020  Read: November 2021  Genre: Fiction 

The Fever - Megan Abbott

I got this as a "grab bag" choice from the library - they pick a book out for you and include it with the hold you are picking up in this new world of parking lot library service.

I really enjoyed the vivid representation of the life of teenage girls today.  The author weaves their daily lives with texting and phones and attitude into the story and paints the adults around them as cluesless though with good intentions.

It's the story of teenage girls who suddenly have symptoms of a strange illness ...is it drugs or the stagnant lake on the edge of town?  We are inside the minds of the girls as they grapple with things beyond their control.  Good read and thanks to the librarian!

Published: 2014   Read: June 2020 Genre: Fiction

Digging to America - Ann Tyler

Two families adopt Korean baby girls and become friends after meeting at the airport as the children are delivered.  One family is American as apple pie; the other headed by an Iranian immigrant whose only American-born son and daughter-in-law embrace modern American ways.  The story is primarily about Maryam, grandmother to Suzanne, one of the girls.  The author uses a recurring celebration of the girls arrival anniversary to display the different feelings of her characters as they meld into the society.

I remember reading other books by Tyler and disliking her too tidy wrap up of story in a predictable ending--this one is no different.  When I was ready to yell at Maryam near the end, the author reverses course and puts a bow on the story. 

Since it was written in 2006 it is a perspective on immigration that is worth reading.

Published: 2006  Read: July 2018  Genre: Fiction

Rocket Boys - Homer H Hickam, Jr.

This was a joy to read!  It's a memoir of the author growing up in a coal town in West Virginia in the late 50's, shortly after the Russians launched Sputnik.  He and his friends are inspired to build rockets and with the help of their teacher and school, acquire the knowledge to do so.  They experiment with launching their rockets to hone their skills, while their coal town home is moving toward oblivion. 

I loved learning some rocketry and finally can name a use for trigonometry and calculus, not that I ever took those classes!  The relationship of the boys to each other and of Homer to his parents is genuine and moving.  I learned too of the hard lives of coal miners, giving me a new appreciation for my relatives who worked in the mines in Pennsylvania in the late 1800s. 

Some lucky person will pick this up in the next campground we visit!

Published:  1998  Read: May 2018  Genre: Memoir

The Girl in the Red Coat - Kate Hamer

I thought I was going to like this book.  It's a story of a little girl in a red coat (reminiscent of Little Red Riding Hood) who is abducted and struggles in captivity to maintain her identify.  It's told in parallel with the story of her grieving mother who is attempting to go on living.  I liked the way the characters personalities evolved as time passed and cheered for the child as I felt sorrow for the Mom.  But the author got lazy and wrapped up the story in a few short pages at the end that read like she was in a rush to finish.

Published: 2016  Read: August 2017  Genre: Fiction

Far From The Tree - Andrew Solomon

Sub-title: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

This book occupied most of my June reading, coming in at 702 pages plus 200 pages of notes and bibliography.  I checked it out of the library after listening to a review on the New York Times Book Review podcast.

The author explores the relationship between parents and their exceptional children in terms of how they identify themselves.  He uses the term "horizontal identity" to describe individuals belonging to a group separate from the traditional family relationship.  He illustrates these horizontal identities by interviewing the parents and children in multiple different groups: deaf, dwarf, down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, disability, prodigies, rape, crime, transgender as well as his own identities as a son and father.  It's a tremendous challenge for parents and their children dealing with these issues.  In all these horizontal identities there is the need to relate to others in the same group and often a struggle between that identity and the traditional family.

What struck me most was how parents embraced and accepted the identity of their children.  There are the usual steps of "grief" experienced; shock, denial, anger, depression, acceptance and with that acceptance comes an embrace of the special uniqueness of their child.  In many instances, parents become activists and advocate for the needs of their children.

Don't all parents do this?  Don't we all sacrifice for our children?  And is that sacrifice ingrained or chosen?  The remarkable way that families dealing with the challenge of each of these groups cope, embrace and yes, even celebrate the differences, is inspiring and encourages reflection.  Their children grow up to see their illness or difference as a definition of who they are and embrace that identity.

It is a long and challenging read because the writing style is rambling.  At least a quarter of the book could be left out and  the readability improved by adding structure and conclusions to each chapter. Food for thought, but an overly rich serving.

Published:  2012  Read: June 2017  Genre: Sociology

The Reading Promise - Alice Ozma

Sub-title: My Father and the Books We Shared

A young girl and her father make a promise to read together every day...and continue their "reading streak" for over 3,000 days until she went away to college.  It sounds like a great story but I couldn't be completely enthusiastic as their relationship as described bordered on creepy.  Her mother and father separate about the same time as the streak begins yet her mother continues to spend Christmas Eve on their couch every year.  She has an older sister, about seven years older, who is mentioned occasionally but it is clear that Alice is the focus of her father's attention.  The relationship aside, the streak is a noble goal and while it broadened her knowledge it didn't greatly enhance her writing skills.

Published: 2011  Read: January 2017  Genre: Memoir

Shelter - Jun Yun

This was a painful, depressing book to read and I didn't like it because of that.  One of my reading group's chose it for this month's read.  It is the story of a family; a young husband and wife and 4 year old son and the husband's parents.  The son and his parents are distant because of the father's violence and the mother's acquiesence.  A violent crime forces them together.  Their lives go from awful to miserable to unbearable.  There is no redemption in this book, just the harsh reality of lives destroyed and continuing to damage the next generation.  Ugh.

Published:  2016  Read: October 2016  Genre: Fiction

Unspeakable - Meghan Daum

I enjoy browsing the "best pics" that the library puts out right inside the entrance.  This one popped out at me and I'm glad I picked it up.  The author is a Generation Xer, known for her first book "My Misspent Youth".  This is a group of short stories or essays reflecting on her life many years later.

She's unconventional and speaks out on things that aren't normally said out loud (her chapter entitled "Matricide" about her mother's dying is a good example).  She chooses not to have children and reflects at one point on her and her husband feeling sad after she has a miscarriage:

"Were we sad because we lacked some essential element of lifetime partnership, such as a child or agreement about wanting or not wanting one?  Or were we sad because life is just sad sometimes -- maybe even a lot of the time?  Or perhaps it wasn't even sadness we were feeling but, simply, the dull ache of aging?  Maybe children don't save their parents from this ache as much as distract from it.  And maybe creating a diversion from aging turns out to be the whole point of parenting."

It was an interesting read and I'll think I'll look for more of her writing.


Published: 2014   Read: September 2015  Genre: Memoir/Essay